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Will fight again and again


   I was not having faith in such mystical and magical subjects in the beginning.  In fact I was not also having belief on the God.  During that time it will give the impression to us such that our ancestors have believed, our elders have advised, scholars have written, and this will not be suitable to the intellectual mind.

One fine day how do we suddenly come to a conclusion that the God is not there.  We believe like that by listening to the comments and speeches of few elders, isn’t it?  How can we conclude that the comments said by them are matching to our visions?  Sometimes there is a possibility of thinking that it is wrong to conclude that the God is not in present.

Hence I came to a conclusion.  Many saints declare that the God is apart from all the things and cannot be known by us and the God can be heart fully felt by the super sensible Gnostic people only.  They have also shown some pathways to feel the God’s presence.



Good practice is required to stitch a slipper.  It is not possible to run the plough with cow in the paddy fields without practice.  Hence there is no use of just chatting about the God is there or not there? To feel the God practice is required.  We can accept the outcome of our self experience after the completion of this practice.  Hence I felt it is foolishness to pass the time in just doing these arguments and decided to start doing some practices.

Is just a decision is sufficient?  There shall be a tutor to do so!  Many references have to be found to just meet a District collector.  Will we get an opportunity to meet the God immediately? I searched for this seriously for several months.

To get a work done there is no need to meet a minister.  His assistants can also be approached.  We can come to a conclusion by testing few issues which are said to be based on the God, before knowing about the God is true or false.  One of my friend, who felt my seriousness told like this.

I felt that this is a right idea.  I know that the people have so much of devotion and fear upon the hymns as much as they have faith and attachment on the God.  My father’s friend Pattusamy Iyer was frequently talking to me about the greatness and usage of the Gayatri Mantra.  But I was not caring about this at that time.  Suddenly one day I went to him and asked him that I want to learn the mantras and holy hymns and he can be of any help to me in this regard?  He introduced me to a vedic scholar named as baby alias Keezhaiyur Yanja Subramanian.  His first question to me was this.  Why do you want to learn this?  I told him the real reason without hiding anything.  I feared if he would refuse teaching me the lessons considering that I am a skeptic person and so these lessons shall not be taught to me.



The reason is that many skeptic people will not keep the people having contrary opinions near them and will relegate them by telling some reason.  Many times they hurt others by talking scrawling words without understanding the feeling of others.  I have known this many times.  I feared he may also reject me.  But he completely opposed to my thoughts and was very happy by listening to my answer.  He said, I will teach you completely as far as I know.  You try your best.  The God will show you the right path.

He taught me a specific part of the hymn lessons within a day or two and told me to do as per that even if I do not know the consequence of that and meet him after two months. There is a proverb as Kothi Pindam Brahma Rakshasam in Telugu language.  That means If there is a wound in the body of a monkey, it will always agitate the wound and make the same into bigger size.  More or less I was also in the same status.  I do not have any other thought from the day he taught me the hymns.

I felt that my regular life style, business, etc. as the secondary ones.  My mind went in the thought of practicing the hymns always.  I had to bear the scolding from my father.  Many times I had to face the loss in business.  In spite of all this I was very serious in my efforts.  It was about one and half months since the day of starting the practice.  One day early in the morning at about 3-O-clock, I sensed that some kind of electric shock has got inserted into my body while I was in the practice.

My head was extremely arduous.  I felt very much hard to open my eyes.  I felt that someone is hitting inside my head with the keys of the typewriter.  I was really shocked with these feelings.  The influence of this sensitive experience did not move out from me for about three days.  I did not feel to talk to anyone, could get hunger, thirst, etc. only by force and did not naturally.  I was like a crazy person to see externally but I did not lose my inner consciousness.



Even then I did not leave to practice.  I was severe in doing the practice as I felt in my inner mind that there is something special.  Exactly on the fifth day, I met a dazzling figure standing in front of me.  Definitely this is not from my imagination.  I have never seen such an illustration in any picture, in my thoughts, etc. before in my life time.  Hence I can definitely tell that this is not a spectral image.  The image had appeared for few seconds only and has calmed down my boiling mind.  I felt that a permanent blissful happiness is spread within me.  I have been feeling the splendor of this ecstasy till this minute.

Many changes have occurred in my mind after this experience.  I felt the truth that our ancestors who have told about the God, Hymn, Prayers, etc. are not fools, and not frauds to push us into the dreamy arguments but their entire dictums are to make us clear that all these are the pathways to the delight.  I have also seen the glittery fact of the birth of perception.

Then onwards I had the complete interest to go forward in that path as if I got a way while I was doing a target less travel.  I was excited to learn all kinds of mystic hymns available in the epics.  I have started learning the hymn methods of the saints like Tirumoolar, Karuvooraar, Pulipani sithar, etc. apart from the hymns of the Adharvana Veda.

I cannot walk.  I need someone’s help to just move from one place to another place.  In this situation, how can I go in search of various Gurus to learn different kinds of hymns and mantras? Even if my mind feels uneasy, a bird from inside me uses to sing that it is possible.  Few Gurus have come in search of my accidentally or by the grace of the God.  Many ancient books and epic literatures have guided me in the absence of the gurus.

I did not lose the fire of learning the hymns for about ten years of time.  Thereafter I applied the hymns learnt by me for the welfare of others. I had faced few successes and many failures in the practice of my beginning sessions.  My mind was never in the disappointed condition upon such failures.  I will never give up and will fight back again and again if I face any failure.  This clash has never wounded me but enriched me.








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